September 16, 2014

(Source: pelicanspox)

September 12, 2014

TEN SONGS - RED RUM by Charles Klein on Mixcloud

Just uploaded TEN SONGS - RED RUM to Mixcloud. Listen now!

10:14pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZKBHkx1QgQ8J9
Filed under: mixcloud 
September 7, 2014
the inability to move forward

hello tumblr my old friend, I’ve come to talk with you again. 

i know that they say your 20s are meant to be a time of great emotional upheaval. a time where your heart pitches about on the tempestuous sea of adulthood, crashing into others marooned in a perfect storm of student loan debt, personal loss, and insatiable desire. 

and that is kind of where I find myself. I feel trapped beneath the weight of the loss of my best friend Andrew and the impending loss of my father. I pitch between the two, trying to run away from one only to inevitably run into the other, as if trapped between two walls growing ever nearer with no route of escape.

whenever I feel ready to move past Andrew’s death, there comes another occasion to remind me of it. his family is doing a memorial for him next month and I will be there. I don’t want to not go. It’s important that I be there. but this will be the third time since his passing that I will make a trip to Boston. and a part of me wants to be done with it. to not go. because I want to be able to just move on right now. and to continually be in this stage of my grief doesn’t really allow me to do that. I’m not sure how I feel about feeling that. but there it is.

and then there’s my dad. it is at the point now that when my sister Katherine or my mom asks me if I want to talk to him on the phone and I almost just want to say no. because I know I will not like how it will go. he still said “Hey Charlie” the way he always does, but beyond that he really didn’t say anything at all. I’ll ask him questions or try to talk to him, but he doesn’t respond. And yet he still doesn’t really want to give the phone back. it feels like the ship is leaving and he’s hanging his arm out, trying to grab me, only my arm’s not long enough, I can’t reach him and instead I just watch him sail away from me where I can’t bring him back. 

you know what? I’m ready for this to be done. I’m ready to not feel this way. to not cry in my bedroom on a Saturday night, alone, and surrounded by a clutter of dirty clothes, receipts, and a still-yet-to-be-unpacked suitcase. I know that neither Andrew nor my dad would want it to be this way either. I want to just like, be happy. maybe it’s as simple as just making the decision to be that way. 

I want to be able to make that decision. someday soon.

August 23, 2014

TEN SONGS - DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE by Charles Klein on Mixcloud

Just uploaded TEN SONGS - DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE to Mixcloud. Listen now!

7:31am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZKBHkx1O_f1hc
Filed under: mixcloud 
August 23, 2014

TEN SONGS - DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE by Charles Klein on Mixcloud

Just uploaded TEN SONGS - DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE to Mixcloud. Listen now!

7:26am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZKBHkx1O_eH_o
Filed under: mixcloud 
August 20, 2014

TEN SONGS - DOG DAYS OF SUMMER by Charles Klein on Mixcloud

Just uploaded TEN SONGS - DOG DAYS OF SUMMER to Mixcloud. Listen now!

8:16am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZKBHkx1Okw5e4
Filed under: mixcloud 
August 11, 2014
No means no.

completely agree with my friend Jocelyn. no means no.  

jocelynaspa:

This is difficult to write and I don’t know how to start this. I don’t really know why (wait, yes I do: fear of being judged, told I should have done things differently, that I was asking for it, or that I’m looking for attention, and so on), but it’s hard and I’m struggling. I want to get it out…

August 4, 2014

TEN SONGS - THE TOWN by Charles Klein on Mixcloud

Just uploaded TEN SONGS - THE TOWN to Mixcloud. Listen now!

1:46am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZKBHkx1NK9kUd
Filed under: mixcloud 
July 25, 2014

TEN SONGS - ALL UNDER ONE ROOF RAVING by Charles Klein on Mixcloud

Just uploaded TEN SONGS - ALL UNDER ONE ROOF RAVING to Mixcloud. Listen now!

9:54am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZKBHkx1MSxhZr
Filed under: mixcloud 
July 23, 2014
gameraboy:

Surprise

gameraboy:

Surprise

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